The Big Bad World

Yesterday after dinner, as is customary in my life, I started inquiring my kids about the day's happenings. My younger one suddenly became morose and tense. I could sense something was amiss. On further prodding I came to know that she had came back home from school in tears. She would not tell anyone what the reason was. Nevertheless, the stream of tears wouldnt stop. After a lot of cajoling, she finally came out with the reason.

It seems that a girl in her class is a big bully and has suddenly decided that my D would be her target for all ragging experiences. She would hit her without any reasons or some miniscule one, pull her hair, tease her for some or the other reason. It seems my daughter is not the only one, there is one more tortured soul with her. It had been happening for sometime now.

On hearing this, I started fuming inside. The mother in me could not bear to see my poor child be a subject of such a treatment. My first instinct was to somehow catch hold of the girl the next day and give her a whacking. But then the child isnt mine and neither is corporal punishment a good idea. I thought of going to the school and atleast threaten the child. I thought of complaining to the teacher. I thought of taking it up with the childs parents.

But then after cooling down I realised that I should not interfere. My hubby voiced his opinion that the parents should not interfere and the children should learn to deal all this among themselves. I am all for this ... as long as it is within limits. Physical abuse is certainly beyond that limit. And yet, I know he is right. How long will I go on protecting my child? She should learn to stand up against such treatment. She should learn to fight back. Its not without a reason that they say that experience is the best teacher.

So, I have advised her to voice her feelings to that girl strongly. If she still wont listen, I have asked her to complain to the teacher and if things dont improve, I might come into the picture.

So, here I sit hoping she comes back home with a smile! How tough parenting is! Sigh!

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Live long or die young?

I live in a joint family – hubby, me, 2 kids and 2 in-laws. My in-laws have been very supportive of me ever since I got married. Inspite of the occasional difference of opinion which is bound to be there when two individuals stay together, there is a basic harmony in our house. We have learnt to withdraw whenever we can sense a storm brewing. We have learnt to tolerate each other. We have learnt to guess the mood in general.There are times I get frustrated, when I feel the need to break free, when I hate that interference, when I want to do something without explanation or permission. But then I remind myself that I am blessed to have elders around who can guide me when I am in need of moral support. I can leave my kids in hands that care. I can have the liberty to be carefree in the office not worrying whether my child ate well, is sleeping properly, has been picked up from school etc. There have been times when I was bed-ridden and didn’t think of kitchen or kids at all. But now I am getting worried. My MIL is 75 and FIL has crossed 80. Over the past year, my FIL has become very weak – mentally. He keeps imagining some or the other physical ailment. If one day its lose motion, next day it will be constipation. Third day he will complain about loss of memory. Every week, he wants to be taken to the doctor and if the doctor prescribes some medicine, he will have something to say about it the next day- it caused acidity, or it causes stomach upset etc. Out of an average 16 hrs he is awake, he thinks of himself close to 16 hrs!!! During the initial days, I could sympathise with his situation. Maybe this is what old age drives you to! I used to give a patient hearing. But now I am losing it. I and hubby have tried explaining to him that with old age, decline in health is imminent. Why not accept it and lead the remaining life happily? Think of God, think of the grandchildren. Divert your mind. But no, it falls on deaf ears. He starts his day crying and cribbing and ends his day the same way. At times, takes out his frustration on my children whom I have taught to bear. Sometimes I feel I have 4 children and not 2.
I think of one of my neighbours, Padma. Her MIL is 99 and completely bed-ridden. She has to be given liquid diet every now and then. She has to be tended when nature calls. Padma sponges her everyday. I do believe in good karma and its after effects but till she reaps the fruit, does she and her MIL really have to go through all this? Padma has 2 sons, both settled in US for the past 6-7 yrs and she hasn’t visited them even once since there is noone who can look after her MIL in her absence! I am scared! I am scared of growing old. I would prefer to die young when I am still happy with myself, when I do not have any complaints against anyone, when I do not nag my children day in and day out. But is it in my hands?

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Of Tagging and Myself

It has been ages now since I updated my blog. Since JustLikeThat has tagged me, will do that now!

1) The one thing I like about myself is that I can be a good friend. The problem is “if I decide to”. I can be very biased.
2) The one thing I do not like about myself is that I get carried away most of the times. Whether it is love, like, hate or adore. I never know how to remain within limits.
3) The one thing I would like to change in me is my sensitivity. I want to be less sensitive to people and things, so that I do not get hurt so easily. Like JustLikeThat, I am one of those who lets people walk all over them and not able to do anything about it except fume inside!
4) The one thing I would not like to change in me is my zeal to keep learning new things.
5) The one thing I like to do anytime is “to be lazy”. Need to change that attitude as well!
6) The one thing I do not like to do anytime is “try to be centre of attraction”. I feel uncomfortable being talked about. I am too self-conscious a person.
7) The one thing I would love to learn is to be more positive in life and to adopt that mantra “don’t worry be happy”!
8) The one thing I would love to unlearn is my habit of brooding and to keep crying over spilt milk.
9) The one thing I run away from is confrontations.
10) The one thing I dream of is a simpler life J

Let me update this post as and when I discover myself more!

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