Live long or die young?

I live in a joint family – hubby, me, 2 kids and 2 in-laws. My in-laws have been very supportive of me ever since I got married. Inspite of the occasional difference of opinion which is bound to be there when two individuals stay together, there is a basic harmony in our house. We have learnt to withdraw whenever we can sense a storm brewing. We have learnt to tolerate each other. We have learnt to guess the mood in general.There are times I get frustrated, when I feel the need to break free, when I hate that interference, when I want to do something without explanation or permission. But then I remind myself that I am blessed to have elders around who can guide me when I am in need of moral support. I can leave my kids in hands that care. I can have the liberty to be carefree in the office not worrying whether my child ate well, is sleeping properly, has been picked up from school etc. There have been times when I was bed-ridden and didn’t think of kitchen or kids at all. But now I am getting worried. My MIL is 75 and FIL has crossed 80. Over the past year, my FIL has become very weak – mentally. He keeps imagining some or the other physical ailment. If one day its lose motion, next day it will be constipation. Third day he will complain about loss of memory. Every week, he wants to be taken to the doctor and if the doctor prescribes some medicine, he will have something to say about it the next day- it caused acidity, or it causes stomach upset etc. Out of an average 16 hrs he is awake, he thinks of himself close to 16 hrs!!! During the initial days, I could sympathise with his situation. Maybe this is what old age drives you to! I used to give a patient hearing. But now I am losing it. I and hubby have tried explaining to him that with old age, decline in health is imminent. Why not accept it and lead the remaining life happily? Think of God, think of the grandchildren. Divert your mind. But no, it falls on deaf ears. He starts his day crying and cribbing and ends his day the same way. At times, takes out his frustration on my children whom I have taught to bear. Sometimes I feel I have 4 children and not 2.
I think of one of my neighbours, Padma. Her MIL is 99 and completely bed-ridden. She has to be given liquid diet every now and then. She has to be tended when nature calls. Padma sponges her everyday. I do believe in good karma and its after effects but till she reaps the fruit, does she and her MIL really have to go through all this? Padma has 2 sons, both settled in US for the past 6-7 yrs and she hasn’t visited them even once since there is noone who can look after her MIL in her absence! I am scared! I am scared of growing old. I would prefer to die young when I am still happy with myself, when I do not have any complaints against anyone, when I do not nag my children day in and day out. But is it in my hands?